Walking Disaster

Did 2025 feel like it was five years long to anyone else? It could be the non-stop doomscrolling that only happens in a fascist dictatorship, or it could be the family members trying their best to drag me into the depths of hell since they know that’s where they will end up. Either way…I’m done. I’m no longer letting the people in my life take, and take, and take, but more importantly, I’m not letting myself give and give into a bottomless black hole anymore either.

For me, that means I’m no longer putting effort towards those who don’t put in effort. If I’m always the texter or the one reaching out, that will stop. If you ignore or overstep my clearly placed boundaries, they will turn into full walls with guardrails and metaphorical barbed wire to keep you out. I will not ask for or call in favors on your behalf if you’re not mature enough to do so yourself, and expect me to carry your mental and emotional loads. Furthermore, for repeat or egregious offenders, being put on Do Not Disturb will be your best-case scenario. Otherwise, I will be deleting, possibly blocking, and generally just going dark to be sure I’m no longer a part of your life, but also to ensure you don’t get access to mine.

This also means no longer saying yes out of guilt or playing mediator in a conflict I advised against and wanted nothing to do with in the first place. I don’t need to cave to bullshit apologies in order to keep the peace, and I won’t put up with any expectations for me to do so. We are all adults now, with sufficient life experience; it is not my job to lead you to empathy. Nor was it ever my job to do so. I’m not raising my voice, I’m raising my standards, and this shift is not coldness, nor impoliteness. It is discernment, which can often make you seem like the villain in a culture based on denial or appeasement. Unfortunately, I’m simply past caring.

I don’t need to give any more benefit of the doubt because the intention wasn’t malicious, because that doesn’t make the action acceptable. And I’m also through allowing my entirely justified reactions to be vilified against me. I’m no longer arguing or making myself clear. Moving forward, I’m simply revoking access to repeat offenders. I know that relationships aren’t transactional and therefore shouldn’t run on reciprocity, nor should they, but at the end of the day, without mutual effort, a relationship has no depth. And while fairweather and shallow friends have a place in life, at least they respect boundaries.

So starting this year, my care won’t become depleted, and my willingness to give will be reserved for those who won’t take. And it might be fun to see if it’s even noticed.