Walking Disaster

When it comes to destination weddings, my feelings are about the same as those of normal weddings…don’t invite me. However, my best friend decided that since her great-great-grandparents are Colombian, it made sense to hold her wedding in her “home country.” Also, at the moment, I am fully supportive of anyone distancing themselves from America, and the flights/lodging were dirt cheap, so off we went!

Speaking as someone who flew out of LAX, I can confidently say that it would be wise to plan for at least two flights out and back. My travel plan had more flights than actual days spent on vacation. Another general top tip would be to be honest with yourself when choosing your in-flight seats. As it turns out, I do not have the bladder control or social wherewithal for anything other than an aisle seat. I would rather be moved than ask someone else to move. 

Once you make it to Cartagena, Ubers are available from the airport to wherever you’re going. I say this because, if you’re not careful, the baggage handlers will take your bags and shove you into the nearest taxi all for a tip that they consider to be insufficient for the task you did not ask for in the first place. Seriously, I have an economics degree, but a full day of travel (half was red-eye) robbed me of any ability to comprehend paper money. Mainly since I never use it, but also since Colombian pesos come in units of 20,000 notes. 

There are plenty of gorgeous resorts in El Centro, but if you can’t stay in the walled city, Getsemani is the best alternative. It’s about half the price, full of boutique hotels (like ours) and Airbnb options, and is only about a 5 or 10-minute walk to the city center. It’s full of color and culture, our hotel had free breakfast and two rooftop pools, plenty of prostitutes hanging around to give us advice on places to go, and where to go mural hunting on the way! 

Based on that last sentence, and the reactions from friends and family, Colombia has a terrible reputation for traveling, especially for women. I would understand a bit more if we were going to see Escobar’s hippos in the jungles of Medellin, but Cartagena is mainly catered towards tourists. As far as I can tell, it was no better or worse than any other city to exist in. Hate to break it to you, but I have to be extra careful walking to my car at night after Run Club in San Diego when I’m a mile away from my house. Just be vigilant, use the buddy system, and stay away from street vendors. If you don’t speak any Spanish, the first sentence you learn should be, “lo siento, no dinero.” It’s worth noting that if you are followed or chased by a vendor, they can’t run with their massive trays of knick-knacks, so just run away if needed. Other than that? Take advantage of the colors, the food, and the history! There is fresh bread, fresh fish, and fresh fruit literally everywhere. 

My favorite thing to do in any new city is to go exploring and nearly get lost. The city is a beautiful mish-mash of ancient and old. It’s called the walled city for obvious reasons, but it’s because of this wall and the design of the city that it gained a second nickname: the Hero’s City, since it was the first to gain independence from the Spanish, setting off a chain reaction for the rest of the country. We did a street food walking tour that made my heart and stomach very happy, but I’d also highly recommend the rum and chocolate tastings available. There’s a giant fortress right across the bay if you want to give your hamstrings a workout by walking up a giant hill and getting lost in an ancient tunnel system designed to cause mass confusion. 

There are multiple different plazas to walk through as well! Plaza de los Coches is the main tourist area, with a fun outdoor food market and clock tower. Plaza de Bolivar has the city’s cathedral, which is one of the oldest in the Americas. Then there is El Centernario Plaza, which is vastly superior because it connects El Centro and Getsemani, and because it’s full of tropical birds, monkeys, and sloths! Seriously, they’re just chilling in the trees. It’s awesome. I am still sad I didn’t get to see Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s house, but the sunset catamaran ride we did the night before the wedding completely made up for it. Thunderstorms and night views from across the bay make for a pretty astounding sight. 

Be sure to check out all the nightlife as well! We hit up Alquimico, Mondo, and XO, during our first and second night. The cevicherias are second to none, and the vibes at any tapas spot or empanada stand are stunning. The city felt like a perfect fusion of New Orleans and Havana, even though I’ve never been to the latter. 

The main takeaways for me was how the humidity did absolute wonders for my curly hair, but wreaked havoc on my glasses since they fogged up whenever I went outside. A lot of walking is required, but worth it for the amount of food and drinks we had. We averaged about four miles of walking a day. Not sure if it was the time of the month or the time of the year, but the streets did flood every day we were there…so make sure to bring sneakers, not sandals. Most of the hotels and places to stay have rooftop pools and free breakfast, so take advantage. Don’t buy anything in the duty-free section of the airport – it didn’t stop anyone on my layover from taking my rum, chocolate, and coffee. I loved getting to see it and explore everywhere I could…And lastly, there are turkey vultures everywhere.